you had me from hello
by jellybean96
Summary: "And when you're laying down beside me I feel your heartbeat to remind me... The first time I saw you it felt like coming home If I never told you I just want you to know You had me from hello"


**Hey babes! Got a new Bellarke story here for ya. Came up with this one after the whole Josephine!Clarke storyline happened and reading all the theories about how they're going to get Clarke back. This one doesn't really focus so much on how they get her out, but more on the aftermath of what that does to her. Because I really don't think there'll be zero effect on Clarke's mind after all of this. **

**Sidenote: Bob and Eliza are married now?! What the hell?! It's so exciting but still doesn't feel real. I am really happy for them, though. **

**Anyways, hope you enjoy this one-shot. It was pretty fun to write.**

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He'd been hoping tonight would be another quiet one. She'd been doing well on sleeping all night without any terrors to wake her, vague memories of a trauma that she tends to forget the details of once she's awake. She still has bad nights, of course, but the peaceful nights have been happening more and more as time goes on.

Unfortunately, tonight is not one of those peaceful nights. But thankfully, she doesn't wake up screaming, stirring everyone else near them. She still wakes up in a fit, though.

Their blanket is tangled up in her legs as she thrashes around in the bed, her brows furrowed together closely and her hands balled tightly into fists. She's muttering under her breath, but he can't understand what she's saying.

"Clarke," he says quietly, shifting on the bed so he's resting up on his elbow. He hesitantly reaches a hand out to her. Touching her while she's in a fit can go one of two ways. But he's always willing to risk it to save her from whatever's plaguing her dreams.

She continues to thrash and he gently rests one hand on her shoulder.

She shoots up in the bed immediately, letting out a quick "No", her breathing heavy and a coating of sweat on her skin.

"Clarke," he says again, trying to get her attention.

It works. She looks over at him, watching him with tear-filled eyes, just like always.

And just like every other time she's woken up in a fit, he immediately pulls her into his arms, holding her tightly and cupping the back of her head in his hand. He holds her close, gently rocking her from side to side in hopes that it'll soothe her. It usually does.

"I've got you, Princess, I've got you. They're gone, they can't hurt you anymore."

She whimpers into his chest and it nearly breaks his heart. His Clarke has never been one to whimper like this. Not in all the time he's known her. He's seen her cry, but he's never seen her so broken like she is now. But having her body taken over while her consciousness was still in there, fighting to get back to the surface, it took its toll.

It's barely been a month since they got her back, but he knows there's still quite a ways to go until she's fully recovered from the trauma. If she even recovers fully. For all they know, there could be many lingering effects on her mental state for years to come. They've never had to deal with anything like this before, and they're doing their best. They just take it day by day and hope for the best possible outcome.

Clarke shifts in his arms and he pulls back to look at her, brushing some of her hair back that had fallen in her face. She's been growing it back out and he can't say that he hates it. He smiles softly at her when they make eye contact. "Hey."

"Sorry," she mumbles under her breath, wiping at her eyes with the palms of her hands.

"You don't need to be sorry," he tells her honestly and earnestly, needing her to understand what he's saying. "This isn't your fault, Clarke. It was _never_ your fault. You didn't ask for this to happen. But you're strong, and you're going to make it through. And whenever you feel yourself slipping, I'm going to be right here to help you through it. We'll get through this together, okay?"

It's the same thing he's said to her every time she's woken up from another nightmare. Not the exact same words, but the exact same sentiment. He'll always be there for her, no matter what. He just needs to make sure that she knows that.

She nods and falls against him again, her shoulders shaking as more cries escape past her lips. It breaks his heart, every single time. He hates seeing her like this. He hates not being able to do anything except hold her and let her cry on him. But he supposes that's good enough for right now.

Eventually, her crying stops and she's relaxing against him. He doesn't know if she's sleeping again or just staying quiet. It's always one or the other.

Pulling away just enough to look down, he sees her eyes are open and she's breathing steadily, staring off at something across the room.

"Feeling any better?" he asks her after a moment.

She shrugs, shifting on the bed. "I can't remember anything when I'm awake. But when I'm sleeping, I see so much. I just want it to stop, Bellamy. Make it stop."

He sighs. "I wish I could, Princess. I really do. You don't know how badly I wish I could take it away so you didn't have to suffer anymore. You've suffered enough. You're _going _to get through this, okay?"

She shakes her head. "You can't promise that."

"Maybe not. But I promise that I'll help you in whatever way I can. Whatever you need, I am here for you. I've said it to you before and I'll say it a thousand times again." He gently cups her face in his hands, ducking his head just enough to look in her eyes. "I am never going anywhere again. And neither are you. Not if I can help it." The edges of his lips quirk up. "You're stuck with me forever, Princess."

There's a beat of silence before Clarke is smiling at him, a real, genuine smile and it makes his heart soar. "Well," she says, "if a nuclear apocalypse, over a century in cryo-sleep, and being body snatched can't keep us apart, then what can?"

He laughs quietly. "That's the spirit." He slides his hands around to her back and pulls her into a hug, cradling the back of her head once again and holding her as close as he can. He drops a kiss to the top of her head, breathing in deeply.

This is it. This is what he wants forever. To be able to hold her in his arms, through the good and the bad. Hopefully more of the former than the latter. He never wants anything bad to happen again, but he knows life is full of ups and downs. He just doesn't want anymore extremely bad things. They've all had enough. _Clarke's_ had enough.

Dipping his head just a little, he smiles when he realizes that she's sleeping again, her hands balled into tight fists around his shirt.

"Bellamy?"

Glancing up, he finds Madi peering around the edge of the door, her brows furrowed in concern as her eyes focus in on her mom. The bond between Clarke and Madi is honestly one of his favorite things. He loves how much they love and care for each other. They were all each other had for six years, so it only makes sense.

"Hey, Madi. It's late. What are you doing up?"

"I heard noises. Is Clarke okay?"

He smiles softly at her. "She's doing a little better. She fell back asleep."

"Okay."

He watches as the girl lingers in the doorway, her eyes downcast as she kicks one foot against the floor.

"Madi, she's going to be fine. She's got you and she's got me. I'd say that's a pretty good support system. After all, you did help to keep her sane for six years."

Madi gives him the smallest of smiles. "Yeah. I'm gonna go back to bed. See you in the morning."

"See you in the morning," he echoes with a smile, watching the girl leave and the bedroom door swing closed after her.

Glancing back down to the blonde woman in his arms, he drops a kiss to the top of her head. "You did a pretty damn good job raising her, Princess," he whispers, hoping not to wake her. "She's lucky to have you. We all are. Especially me. I didn't want to like you at first, back in the days of the Dropship. But you grew on me. And now here we are. I'd do anything for you, Clarke. Hell, I nearly burnt this whole place to the ground just to get you back." He chuckles quietly. "You're it for me, Clarke Griffin. And maybe when you're awake I'll say it again so you can actually hear me."

Shifting on the bed, he positions their bodies so Clarke is lying halfway on top of him, her hands still clenching tightly to his shirt.

He tightens his hold on her just enough as he lets out a content breath, his eyes slowly closing.

"Sweet dreams, Princess."

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**So? What did you think? Let me know in a review down below. I'd love to hear your thoughts. **

**Until next time,  
Jellybean96 out!**


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